Understanding the Issue
What is Family & Domestic Violence
Stopping Family Violence defines family, domestic and sexual violence as patterns of behaviour intended to coerce, control and create fear within intimate (current and former partners) or family relationships. Family, domestic and sexual violence refers to a range of abusive and controlling behaviours, including but not limited to, physical violence, sexual violence, emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, cultural abuse, systems abuse, undermining or disrupting parenting, using or harming children to coerce or control their mother, financial abuse and social isolation.
Our Watch research shows that women are nearly three times more likely than men to experience violence from an intimate partner. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women experience disproportionate rates of violence, and the violence is often more severe. Some groups of the community are more likely to experience violence due to factors such as systemic and structural forms of social injustice, discrimination, and oppression.
Research shows that approximately 95% of all victims of violence experience violence from a male perpetrator. Gendered language in family and domestic violence isn’t used with the intention to exclude other groups of people, as we know violence exists in all types of relationships. Our language is not intended to exclude or diminish the experiences of people who do not identify as male or female or have heterosexual relationships; however, we represent the research and address the gendered drivers through our education and advocacy.
Drivers of Gendered Violence
Research by Our Watch shows that violence against women has distinct gender drivers that consistently predict or drive the gendered pattern of violence.
These are:
- Condoning violence against women
- Men’s control of decision-making and limits to women’s independence
- Rigid gender roles and stereotypes
- Male relationships that emphasise aggression and disrespect towards women
Structural inequalities affirm attitudes and behaviours that enable violence against women. Violence against women is preventable by changing structures, attitudes and behaviours. The evidence shows that the substantial majority of users of FDV are cisgender heterosexual men and that a significant majority of victim-survivors are cisgender heterosexual women. Our use of gendered and heterosexual language reflects this understanding. However, we acknowledge that sex and gender are socially constructed categories. Binary language assumes only two categories of sex and gender (men/women or male/female) which does not reflect the gender diversity in our communities.
Why Work on Perpetrator Response
When we improve responses to perpetrators, we work to improve safety for adult and child victim-survivors. Focusing on the perpetrator means shifting away from a victim-blaming narrative and constantly pivoting to the perpetrators’ behaviours as the cause of the harm. Focusing on the perpetrator’s patterns of behaviour identifies the impact of their unsafe, violent, and controlling behaviours on his current or former partner and their children. A parent who engages in a pattern of behaviour to control, disrupt & destabilise daily living always impacts the family’s health, stability, safety and well-being of adult and child victim-survivors. Stopping Family Violence works to promote practices that move the blame from the victim-survivor to the person perpetrating the violence. When we learn to work with adult and child victim-survivors whilst holding perpetrators’ behaviours as the focus, we learn to work with the needs of the family in a child-centred way, and we work to partner with the adult and child victim-survivors to increase their safety.
“Why doesn’t she leave?” is a common question that comes up when we talk about gender-based violence. Leaving or planning to leave an abusive partner can involve a series of incredibly difficult and complex decisions. Distressingly, statistics show that, on average, almost one woman a week is murdered by her current or former partner, with a number of these homicides occurring post-separation. Leaving a violent partner can take many attempts, and many do not leave as staying may be the safest option. Leaving is not only dangerous, but it can mean a loss of identity, status, family and community support networks, financial security, loss of the child’s school, friends and networks, and the only place they may have to live. We should look to a future where we never judge a victim-survivor for their decision to stay and instead we should learn about their strengths in the context of the perpetrator’s pattern of behaviour. Instead of asking “why doesn’t she leave?”, we need to be asking “why doesn’t he stop?”
Who is Family and Domestic Violence Training for?
Stopping Family Violence provides training that helps a wide range of practitioners and front-line workers in direct and intersecting roles to work more safely with families. Stopping Family Violence provides training and support for practitioners who work directly with perpetrators, equipping them with the specialist skills needed for this work. We also offer training for those with little to no contact with perpetrators, enabling people to understand the patterns of behaviour perpetrators can use to undermine systems and supports impacting their clients. If all services don’t know how perpetrators can use tactics and behaviours to undermine victim-survivors, perpetrators are able to weaponise those systems to cause further harm.
Responding to perpetrators effectively and improving safety for women and children requires integrated approaches where everyone works together systematically and cooperatively, from primary prevention through to crisis care, from specialist services to universal services, and to members of the public. There are many intersections of family and domestic, including (but not limited to) substance use, mental health, and homelessness. We support people in those services to understand family and domestic violence and the impact of the perpetrators’ behaviours on the adult and child victim-survivors.
How Can We End Violence Against Women and Children?
Family, domestic and sexual violence is a widespread problem, but there are so many ways we can work together to solve it. We can all work together across a range of settings, including the workplace, our clubs, with our friends, and in all organisations, to promote and foster safe, equal, and respectful relationships. Stopping Family Violence worked to establish Prevention Violence Together in collaboration with the Centre for Women’s Safety and Wellbeing, an organisation dedicated to the prevention of family and domestic violence.
